Jesus Teaches Forgiveness

Probing Your Own Heart

Is there anyone whom you have not forgiven from the heart?

By what criteria do you forgive others?

Building on Some Foundational Concepts

We should set no limit on the offenses we will forgive.

We are to forgive the offender as often as he needs it. Brother Z wronged me three times in one week, so he needs forgiving for those three times. I must also forgive him as often as I need it. You see, this week in question may have been four years ago by now...and every so often I struggle all over again with the hurt, the insult, the anguish, the embarrassment, and the anger. And every time the struggle returns, I need to forgive him. That is, renew the decision to release him of his debt to me.

Compassion should precede forgiveness.

Compassion for his servant's inability to meet his own need motivated the lord to forgive. The lord could not have had that kind of compassion without putting himself in the servant's place. The sincerest forgiveness comes from compassion, not from obligation or self-interest. Forgiveness is primarily concerned with granting freedom and blessing to another.

Those who have been forgiven should show forgiveness.

The first servant had experienced compassion and forgiveness. Alas, he absorbed neither. Why not? Perhaps you can find the answers as near as within your own heart. In your own relationships, do not overlook this parable's biggest lesson: Those who have been forgiven should show forgiveness.

Unforgiveness produces a bitter harvest.

Nothing good comes from unforgiveness. Those who sow it damn themselves to reaping unforgiveness when they will want desperately to be harvesting forgiveness.

Questions and Responses

Why forgive?

Recognizing our own need of forgiveness, we forgive others. In the parable the lord went from "I forgave thee all" to "pay all"! Those who do not forgive others damn themselves to eternal punishment! Even though God's forgiveness wipes us clean, our unforgiving spirit will restore all our debts to our heavenly account!

Knowing their need, we forgive others. Mercy deals with people on the basis of need...their need. The merciful individual responds to other people in their failures and shortcomings as he would respond to himself -- gently, considerately, redemptively. Mercy helps. Mercy sacrifices. Mercy forgives.

How do we forgive and forget?

Human forgiveness has little to do with forgetfulness. We just don't have the capacity to extinguish a memory at will. Thus "forgive and forget" sets the standard way above the attainable. Forgiveness does its work despite the memories. In fact, we could say that forgiveness does its work because of the memories. However, forgiveness does not indulge the memories and their feelings. Rather, forgiveness affirms its action and then refuses to review the offense and the accompanying feelings.

But what if I have a hard time not reviewing certain offenses?

Forgiveness is not denial -- it acknowledges the wounds and wrong responses...and chooses to forgive anyway. Then it turns to God for healing of the wounds and cleansing from the wrong responses.

Now consider another angle. Do you want to review a record of wrongs, failures, and offenses? Look no further than your own. God leaves absolutely no room for keeping a record of how others treat you. However, we all need to recognize what Paul might have called "our own chiefest of sinners ailment." When we consider our own record (hopefully confessed and forgiven) before God, we will be able to forgivingly deal with how others treat us.

Can I obligate someone to forgive me?

Both of the debtors in today's parable had absolutely no legal or moral foundation on which to construct a case for forgiveness. So they didn't even try. Instead, both of them asked only for time to pay their debts. They both recognized that their forgiveness depended entirely on the discretion of their creditors...and apparently didn't even dream of asking for it.